We all love our children and want to help them succeed. In my previous post I mentioned how important having good relationship is to success.
Just telling our children we love them is not enough. Love is a verb and must be put into action. It takes time, energy, patience and being fully present.
I am sure you are giving your time, sharing your energy and practicing patience.
So, what does “being fully present” mean?
“Being fully present” just means paying attention, to give focused time every day attending your child only. It also means listening to their inner voice.
Are you ready to create a closer connection with your child?
We will go through a series to help you build a good relationship with your child.
Today’s topics is about making time for your child and what to do.
The first thing to do is to make time with your child a priority that cannot be moved, except for life or death situations.
We have all heard about quality time but the truth is if your idea of quality time is 5 minutes every week, it is NOT ENOUGH.
BUT, it does not have to be every waking moment in your day either.
The foundation for a good relationship requires BOTH quantity and quality. I know this is sometimes difficult due to the pressures of job and daily life, which is why we need to examine our priorities.
Time goes by and there is no way to stop it or make it come back. One way to decide which is more important is to make a checklist, like the one below
| What I want to do |
Yes |
No |
What can I do? |
| If I miss levelling up in my game – Can I level up later |
√ |
Play when my child is sleeping. | |
| If I do not check my friend’s Facebook – Will the post still be there |
√ |
Check in when my child is engaged in a quiet activity | |
| If I do not check my Whatsapp – Will the message still be there? |
√ |
I can inform my contacts not to expect an immediate respond and to call if it is urgent, | |
| If I do not take or make calls to friends – Will can we talk later |
√ |
I can inform my contacts of a specific time I can talk. | |
| If I miss five minutes with my child – Can I get the lost 5 minutes back |
√ |
I can schedule a fix time in my child’s day. I can plan activities to do with him.
Schedule regular Mommy/Daddy and Me days. |
|
| If someone is critically injured or sick – Can I get the lost time to save their life |
√ |
I can explain to my child the importance of bringing someone to seek medical help.
I can explain to my child that we will make up later. I can teach my child empathy and understanding of real world situations, |
The above are just examples.
If we can do all those things later, then why are we not focusing on the time we lose that will never come back?
Next week, we will look at things you can do with your child by age.